THE NEED OF BEING HUMBLE
FIRST MEDITATION
THE DIVINE INVITATION TO HUMILITY
"Sicut Parvuli"
Evening preparation
Before commencing the rather dry series of meditations which are intended to lay a well-reasoned foundation for humility, let us first conjure up a gentler vision of this virtue.
The Divine Master shows it to us in the guise of a little open-faced child. It is no more than a glimpse, but this glimpse admirably shows us the features of a humble soul - without, no affectation; within, no pretence; only a beautiful simplicit of outlook and attitude.
This native simplicity in a child is without merit as it is without duration; but what the child possesses in happy ignorance, we should make our own by effort.
The child seems still to retain a reflection of primitive innocence. This pure reflection, this beautiful transparency, is the ideal to pursue. We have besides a far more complete and perfect ideal proposed to us: "Learn of Me, for I am meek and humble of heart"; the work of humility will be wrought in us if we faithfully copy the Masterpiece.
Then make your heart ready and docile; what Jesus teaches must be true, and what He asks must be good.
Oh! Jesus, show me tomorrow, as Thou didst to Thine apostles, that little child who is to be my model, and in its features may I see Thine!
MEDITATION
"When thy were in the house Jesus asked them: What did you treat of in the way? But they held their peace, for in the way they had disputed among themselves, which of them should be the greatest... And sitting down He called the twelve... And taking a child, He set him in the midst of them. Whom, when He had embraced, He saith to them: Amen, amen, I say unto you, unless you be converted and become as little children - sicut parvuli - you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven... Whosoever receiveth one such child in My name receiveth Me... For he that is lesser among you all, he is the greater."
FIRST PRELUDE - Let us imagine the road which rund from Tabor to Capharnaum. The Saviour walks in front; the Apostles follow Him. Watch their faces animated by the discussion, listen to their pretentious words, the dubious arguments that pass between them.
All through life pride thus occupies and agitates mankind.
Let us enter the house behind Jesus. Mark the twelve as they gather round Him; and at a distance, the little child watching them with a naive curiosity.
SECOND PRELUDE - Let us ask for grace to understand this important lesson of humility, reflecting upon each word as it if fell fresh from the Divine Master's lips for us alone.
1. Pride as an innate and fatal propensity. - Let us consider the strength of this propensity and its immediate consequences. It appears in men of low estate and simple habits. It dwells in souls formed by the Saviour Himself. God has nto eradicated it in the souls of the Apostles, who are destined for the highest virtue. Who then is free from it?
Let us see the consequences. It provokes bitter controversy among the Apostles. It entirely occupies and fills their minds. It makes them indifferent to the presence of their Master. They withdraw themselves from Jesus, deprive themselves of His conversation, avoid His gaze, and to what end? And does not pride produce the same effect in us: dissensions, trouble, and a weakening piety?
2. Humility the reforming virtue. - Let us weigh well each of the Savior's words: Nisi converti fueritis - "Unless you be converted." Then I am not to remain what I am by nature, by inclination, or even by habit. I must be different; the proud must become humble. And this is an express, necessary, and absolute condition: "Nisi". Without that, I can have no place in the kingdom of heaven.
Et efficiamini : To remake self, whatever the difficulties and repugnances; time and patience will be necessary, for one cannot remake oneself in a day.
Sicut parvuli. This is the essential thing. The little child is my model; let me humble myself, make myself little, believe that I am little; and then I must act in accordance with this opinion. There must be no hauteur or disdain, no ambition, and no seeking for precedence, none of the preoccupations and disturbances of self-love. Like the little child, I must be simple, confident, docile, good, without pretence or affectation; following the teaching of the Saviour, I must make myself not only little but quite little: Sicut parvuli.
What a tender as well as a humbling phrase! Non intrabitis in regnum coelorum: "You shall not enter the kingdom of heaven."
Let us meditate upon the various meanings of this sentence. The kingdom of God is peace of soul, and I long for such peace; it is perfection, and this is what I am striving for; it is eternal happiness, and this is what I aspire to. It is the mission of humility to assure all these good things to me.
O Jesus, if I will consent to make myself quite small, I shall achieve this glorious destiny.
3. Humility the source of celestial favours. Source of greatness. - Statuit eum in medio eorum. Jesus places the little child in the midst of the Apostles, in the place of honour, and He explains His action in these words : "Whosoever, therefore, shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven"; erit major. If the last judgment is to bestow on us this position, we must deserve it here on earth: then it will be ours in the eyes of God.
Oh! how our judgments deceive us. What strange changes of rank there would be if the light of truth could priece our darkness!
Humility - source of consolation. - Quem cum complexus esset: Jesus embraces the little child. What a joyous privilege to be the object of divine caresses! Happy child, to whom greatness lovingly stoops! If this child had not been quite little Jesus would not have embraced it.
I complain of interior desolation; I scarcely know what consolation is, Jesus does not put His arms around me, nor press me to His heart. Why? Why? Is He less kind now? or am I too big? Yes, perhaps so, by my pretensions. Oh! I prefer to be little and to be loved. All the satisfaction of self-love are as nothing compared with a caress from Jesus.
Humility, the principle of success. - Qui susceperit talem in nomine meo me suscipit. Jesus chooses from among men hum who resembles this little child. He declares that He will HImself receive him. Who then will not hasten to open to Jesus his dwelling, his arms, his heart? I shall be among these privileged ones, if I will make myself little.
God, as if in order to render His injunctions easy, makes humility a gift that pleases. The humble man seems to carry with him a sense of security and delight. We fell, we know not why, that he could not slight nor wound us. Whether he speaks or listens, there is always the same self-effacement, and the same wish to see others shine. What he asks is accorded willingly; nothing arouses in him those repulsions which are a sign of pride. Is this a radiance of soul? or a privilege of grace? or is it a fleeting apparition of Jesus? Qui receperit talem me recipit... Oh! how I ought to wish to make myself little!
RESOLUTION. - To be a little child that Jesus may love me.
Psychological Study of Pride
A Preparation for the Two Following Meditations
We commonly give the name of "pride" to two faults which however, are of a different nature: excessive self esteem, and the excessive desire for the esteem of others. They have neither the same origin nor the same characteristics, neither the same mode of action nor the same defects.
The undue esteem of self is connected with the sense of personal dignity, of which it is a vicious exaggeration; and the desire for the esteem of others with our social instinct. This last is only pernicious when it induces us to seek a higher place than is our due, or when it arouses an excessive desire for it.
The common appellation of pride, given indifferently to these two faults, is authorized, in that they both have for their object the exaltation of the me; the first overrates self in its own eyes, the second wishes to be overrated by others.
In spite of this resemblance, these two tendencies should be studied separately if we wish to be in a position to analyze ourselves thoroughly, and to direct ourselves rightly. It is because essential distinctions have been ignored that most of the treatises on this subject are full of confused teaching, arbitrary qualifications, and ill-adapted methods.
II
Are we called upon to declare against these two propensities a war so pitiless as to threaten their destruction? Humility does not seek to destroy personal dignity nor the desire of esteem, but only to regulate this sentiments; she does not crush them; on the contrary, she raises them, for in freeing them from all excess, she maintains them in all their beauty, strength, and usefulness.
In itself, indeed, self esteem is perfectly legitimate; it has been placed by God in our nature in order to sustain our personality, to give us a consciousness of the justice of our ideas, of our powers, and of our rights.
Without it, many would fall a prey to that condition of enervation in which we do not know how to set about a perilous undertaking, nor to defend what is attacked; and it is a just self-esteem that communicates the confidence which alone secures, to their great profit, the obedience of subordinates.
Under its influence, the pious soul, admiring Christian perfection, becomes desirous of attaining this exalted state. She burns for the glory of God, and thus sets her affections upon the highest object which the ambition of a great heart can pursue.
The desire of esteem is also an honest and helpful sentiment;it is a mark of consideration towards others, a kind of submission to their judgment. Thanks to it, many people, who are not animated by supernatural motives, rise without effort to generous and devoted actions, which otherwise they would neglect or never even think of.By it many are kept to their duty, and others, under its influence, learn a greater tenderness in their dealings with others.
Reason then demands, not that we should destroy this sentiment, but that we should subordinate and direct it, for when it is governed by lofty ideals it lends a certain attractiveness to virtue. We all like to feel that the esteem we offer is valued, and we are instinctively drawn to those who give us this pleasure.
The human element of course remains a principle of change - experience shows it only too well; but at the same time it imparts a spontaneity that renders action both easy to the doer and more agreeable to those concerned.
The desire for honor seems to belong more to this second propensity, for an honorable reputation is synonymous with public esteem. This kind of honor has its own laws and its own recompenses; we submit ourselves to the first and aspire to the second. But he who seeks for honor solely to enjoy it cannot be said to be virtuous, since the love of goodness for its own sake should be the first motive power of our efforts. If we make public esteem our rule of life we are foolish, for public opinion is a very unreliable judge.
Though honor is exterior to us, in the minds of others, it may enter into us and reign over our conscience. Then, more sensitive to honor than to homage, we shall consult principles rather than opinion, and to public esteem we shall prefer our own. Here we are in the province of the first tendency, which concerns our personal dignity.
The desire for esteem sees honor as a social good, of which it desires a part, but self-esteem as a good that is ours by right.
We cannot deny that honor has a happy influence on social life and on individual perfection. If it is accompanied by lofty principles, it lends them a firm support and receives from them a higher direction; and even without them it at least maintains a measure of stability, and imparts a certain luster.
Honor being the result of opinion, and opinion the result of ideas which prevail in certain circles, we can imagine to what heights a group of men, or a people, might rise under the influence of the truths of the faith.
III
It is not sin which has planted these two inclinations in our nature, they have always been there; sin only causes excess and creates for the external dangers. They come from God; so they are good in themselves, and remain good in their exercise so long as they are restrained within certain limits; and it is humility that provides for this.
When we see virtuous people setting themselves to a complete and indiscriminate repression of these tendencies, perhaps it is because, unconsciously, they are tired of the struggle, for it is very much easier to destroy a force than to maintain it constantly at its proper level.
This mutilation is generally the result of a certain narrowness of mind, and it produces unfortunate results. It leaves the soul dry, the mind uncertain, and it communicates to the exterior manner something artificial and constrained which brings virtue into discredit.
IV
We commonly hear it said that pride arises from self-esteem, while vanity is the outcome of the desire for self-esteem. This is not quite just, for on the one hand, it is vanity when we esteem ourselves for some paltry advantage, and on the other hand, it is not vanity when the desire for esteem prompts us to render eminent services. The epithet of vanity should not then be applied to the tendency, but rather to its object. Inherited wealth, elegance of dress or establishment, add nothing to our real worth. Beauty, natural wit, even intelligence, are not merits but gifts; yet notice this very humiliating trait in human nature: when it is a matter of fortune or of toil we are more conceited about what we have freely received than about what we have acquired by effort; a self-made man is eclipsed by a rich heir, and a student by an easy wit. All is vanity! Vanity too the desire for an esteem that is little deserved, and that in any case is always ephemeral.
There are great ambitions as there are great characters. Great ambitions show themselves in powerful efforts and prompt the performance of splendid deeds; great characters also betray themselves in similar fashion, but with a different motive. The first are attracted by renown, the second find their incentive in their own dignity. Renown is exterior to ourselves, dignity dwells within.
These two motives may be tainted with pride without meriting the reproach of vanity; but vanity is the characteristic of both when they are debased.
V
Let us now sum up the whole of this doctrine: The work of humility is to regulate the sentiments of self-esteem and the desire for the esteem of others.
This definition applies equally to the merely human as well as to the supernatural virtue of humility. Both teach us that there must be no excess. Where they differ is in their estimate of this excess. Simply human virtue looks to reason only for this estimate. Supernatural virtue also seeks it there, but it is more clearly defined to it by the dogmas of faith. We are in the sad state of the original fall: our absolute need of grace and of mercy is a revealed truth which changes the point of view, and imposes a more profound and penitent humility.
The example of Jesus is the means of our education, presenting to us His ideal, in which a supernatural humility is displayed.
In the following meditations we shall find this heavenly light, and motives for a more than merely human humility. Let us ask ourselves whether we have yet acquired even the simple humility demanded by reason.
The differences existing between the two sentiments generally known as pride show the necessity of particular directions for the regulation of each.
They differ as much as in their moral physiognomy as in their inmost nature. He who is dominated by self esteem has a different personality from that of him who is governed by the desire of esteem. They are two different natures, which reveal themselves to the practiced observer by certain scarcely perceptible traits, as the inspection of a bone may enable a naturalist to reconstruct the whole of a certain animal.
Let us take care to determine beforehand to which one of the two categories we belong, if we wish to draw from the ensuing meditations the greatest possible benefit. Neither the way nor the means are the same, and the reshaping of such-and-such a nature demands a different method. General conditions and general means are indicated to all, but each must direct their application to his special end.
Second Meditation
Exercise II
Of Self-Esteem and Contempt for Others
First Point: To prove the existence of this tendency.
Second point: Its weaknesses.
Third Point: Its contradictions.
Fourth Point: Its dangers.
Evening Preparation. - This kind of pride shows itself, according to circumstances, either in a propensity to domineer over others, or in a spirit of independence that may even go far as rebellion. It is selfish and exacting when, as in frequently the case, it is allied with egotism. Its manners are good, but stiff. It will be just, but hard. In men of lax principles it may be a power, and it is more often to be met with in men than in women.
Have I not some of the characteristics of this kind of pride? Pride is so easily disguised, and we know ourselves so little! What we have always been, always done, always felt, ends by appearing to be lawful, however imperfect. We have seen how prone we all are to overrate ourselves. Am I an exception to this rule? We may be proud without having every kind of pride, and even a small degree of pride is dangerous. Besides, we are subject to many illusions produced from without, though there may be little in our circumstances to call for pride.
Praise, or even common respect, makes us believe in our own superiority, and we readily take to ourselves what is due to the part God gives us to play.
To-morrow I shall probe those dark hiding-places where pride lurks, but I am too short-sighted to be able to penetrate their obscurities without the aid of Thy heavenly light, O my God. It is by Thy grace alone that I can come to know myself.
Meditation
Prelude.- To ask the grace of illumination and sincere conviction.
1.To prove the existence of this tendency. - Let us consider the inclination of that leads us to overrate ourselves (superbia). Consciously or unconsciously it exists and works incessantly in our minds, seeking to discover something upon which we may pride ourselves; an instinctive toil like that of the plant which endeavors to plunge its roots among the rocks, and so natural that the work goes on without our knowledge and without producing fatigue.
Let us follow the process; it attaches its attention to and fixes it upon the qualities that it attributes to itself; it contemplates them, it pleases itself with them, and nourishes itself upon them. This persistent regard produces an indelible impression on the mind. On the other hand, it gives but a fleeting glance at what is imperfect, base, or humiliating, and the impression of this glimpse is soon effaced, not counteracting but rather strengthening our self-esteem.
Neither is there any truth in such a survey, for we have recorded only one side of the inquiry.
2. Its weaknesses. - if we are gifted with external advantages, though they may be nothing out of the common, we prize them above everything else. But if intelligence is our gift, then we despise the former. If we have more head than heart, we congratulate ourselves, and sincerely commiserate those whose excess of kindness makes them the prey of those cleverer than themselves. But if we possess more heart than head we speak slightingly of ability.
In the matter of intelligence, we prize that with which we are best endowed. If our mind is subtle but wanting in solidity, we ask: What is there in having a heavy brain? If on the other hand it is more solid than brilliant we cry: What are empty phrases? If we are successful, it is no more than we deserve; but if we have experienced a set-back, we have been unfairly treated. And so on and so on. Let us humble ourselves for such unworthy and ridiculous weaknesses.
3. Its contradictions.- We have indeed often been made keenly aware of our inferiority, and the discovery has caused us suffering. But at once we undertake to eliminate it, and pursuing the work relentlessly contrive to reconstruct for ourselves some sort of superiority, sometimes by dint of despising what has surpassed us. Apparent contradiction but the same defect: I have a greater esteem for the things that are mine: pride is satisfied. To esteem what is lacking in me discourages me: pride suffers.
The contradictions of pride may be seen in the same man. Sometimes with regard to the same object. Finding himself among people better educated than himself he will say with ardent conviction: "Ah! piety is the better part." But let him find himself with those more virtuous than himself and at once, if he thinks he excels them in it, quite a new respect for knowledge will show itself.
Let us examine our feelings and actions in such circumstances, and let us seek energetically to root out our pride and its tiresome contradictions.
4. Its dangers.- Nothing is easier than to render homage to God for all that we are. "It is to Thee, O my God, that I owe my talents and my success." It is an accepted formula, but it does not prevent pride from indulging in vanity and self-complacence. It dispels heretical pride, which is not really a great danger, but it does not make us sincerely turn away from ourselves.
Confident in himself, the proud man does not care to ask counsel, he disdains advice, he rebels against well-deserved failure and aggravates it, and thus falls into errors of conduct.
Clinging to his own ideas, he persists in them, without paying any attention to the advice of others, and thus he becomes stubborn.
Opposition irritates him, he gives way to vexatious words, and his heart growing embittered, he loses charity.
The proud man betrays himself by his attitude, his tone, his expressions; at times he even makes himself ridiculous.
One will praise him extravagantly to see how much flattery he will swallow. Another one will encourage him in a mistaken course, in order to enjoy his discomfiture. Another will egg him on to self-praise, that he may make himself an object of derision: a pitiful vengeance.
Lord, may this time of probation open my eyes, and arm me with holy anger against a proclivity so tenacious, so hidden, and so dangerous!
Reflections.- In surveying these symptoms of pride, I feel almost reassured, for truly I cannot detect them in myself and I do not fall into such eccentricities. But who indeed carries the fault to such excess, and on the other hand, who will dare to think himself wholly free from it?
What shocks us in theory, and in others, may easily pass unnoticed in ourselves.
In this meditation I am making an analysis, drawing a picture, stigmatizing a vice; I have conceived a horror of it, and fear it in itself; this is a great point.
Now my ideas are formed, my conscience is warned. I possess the means of discernment, and the will to fight.
O my God, during these meditations, I beseech Thee to show me myself. It is sad that I have lived so long in darkness, but now, out of the darkness objects begin little by little to emerge, and I shall watch myself carefully. Thy light O Holy Ghost, will be the torch that my instant prayer will apply to the dark places of my life; Thou wilt reveal me to myself, a being whom I did not know. I do not feel proud; but not to be so I must be entirely humble. That sounds like a naivete; it is a piercing ray of light. Who, in fact, is perfectly humble? Am I humble to such a degree?
Resolution.- An innate propensity urging me to overrate myself, it is a matter of simple wisdom to incline rather to believe myself lower than I think.
Third Meditation
Exercise III
On the Excessive Desire of Esteem
First Point: The nature and power of this tendency.
Second Point: Disorders to which it may lead.
Third Point: The folly it may give rise to.
Evening Preparation. - To-morrow I am to face this disposition, which may so easily dominate me. I am to find out its dangers and discover the miserable side of it. If I would not be a victim to this excessive desire of esteem, here are some of the signs by which I may detect it: uneasiness, or at least preoccupation, caused by the fear of blame. According to circumstances, either foolish joy or uncontrolled sorrow; according to temperament, discouragement, irritation, envy, jealousy, detraction, etc. What smallest it engenders, what meanness it sanctions, what falseness it inspires! I ought to fear it because it demoralizes; I ought to watch it because it is tenacious, and because great virtue alone can escape it.
Meditation
Prelude.- As in the preceding meditation, to ask the grace of illumination and great sincerity of conviction.
1. The nature and power of this tendency. - The desire for the esteem of others must not be confounded with the sentiment of self- esteem.
We meet with it, in fact, in persons who recognize their own worthlessness, and some even deliberately allow others to attribute qualities to them that they do not possess. On the other hand, some men, satisfied with themselves, disdain the opinion of others.
The desire of praise is, then, a special form of pride. "The sweetness of fame is so great," said Pascal, "that we love whatever bestows it, even death itself. We would joyfully lose our lives if only we might be spoken of. We are so presumptuous that we wish for a worldwide reputation, and so vain that the esteem of the five or six people who surround us pleases and gratifies us."
This weakness appears in the small child, and is, according to Plato, " the last garment that we lay aside."
2. Disorders to which it may lead. - A reasonable and peaceful liking for the esteem of men is not a vice: it is sometimes a personal help, and a stimulus to useful actions; this is why we may bestow praise as an encouragement.
In reality, everything good deserves to be esteemed; disorder consists in loving esteem more than goodness, in desiring it beyond what we deserve, and in seeking it with eagerness.
What does man pursue who is dominated by the love of praise? Is it well doing? No, but the notoriety it brings him. Thus he aims not at doing his duty, but at its accidental reward.
The vain may be useful and generous, but only in order to appear so. Let him be misunderstood, and he loses all interest, for approbation was his support. Then depression and irritation follow, as the different crises of the same disease. Depression plunges him into the inaction of discouragement, irritation provokes him to break all obstacles, and is not very scrupulous in its counsels as to the choice of means.
On the other hand, success will produce a disorder quite as serious. The vain man, knowing himself esteemed, straightens and expands himself. He breathes more deeply in order the better to draw in the eulogies bestowed on him. Illusion envelops him as in a cloud, and the exact appreciation of things escapes him. He may easily become rash, and will "collapse" in his folly.
Is he wicked? No, but yet he appears hard. Is he unjust? No, yet he tramples on the rights of others: he has not noticed them. Is he false? No, and yet he changes his opinions, his attitude, his manner of speaking, according to the company he is in; he is by turns arrogant or flattering, as it suits him; he will even go so far as o stimulate humility. He has only one aim in view: to occupy a higher place in the esteem of others. And all this is done in serene unconsciousness.
3. The folly of this tendency.- If in practice we are preserved from such excess by our contact with reality, let us cast a look into the depths of our interior, and see what is passing there.
Endless idle dreams, in which in imagination we do brilliant things with astonishing success; situations which reveal in us qualities superior to any we have exhibited under normal conditions. Already we hear murmurs of applause; we enjoy our own and others' surprise. These are dreams, and we know them for such, but they foster our weakness.
It is a pleasure, and in default of the reality we enjoy it, though in certain lucid waking moments we may cry: What a fool I am!
This vain love of praise is indeed folly, though often a sweet folly that we smile at indulgently when it shows itself; but at times it is a terrible folly, whose mistakes may destroy us!
Ah! what need we have of a clear knowledge of ourselves! What need of humility!
Let us examine the motives that have prompted us in the important decisions of our lives; those which animate us today in our ordinary actions.
Above all, let us consider what is the true source of our joys and our griefs. Only too often we shall find that it is a praise or blame.
Let us scrutinize our conduct. Do we not favor those who flatter us? And if we imagine that a certain person does not care for us, do we not readily show ourselves hostile and unjust towards him? We must conceive a great desire for humility, being assured that we are lacking in virtue, and therefore in moral equilibrium.
Resolution.- To say to myself again and again today: "Suppose those about me knew how greedy I am for esteem!"
Conclusions and Summary
The analysis of the propensities which tend to self aggrandizement may be appropriately followed by a consideration of the part humility must play in their regard; we shall prove that without humility, Christian virtue can neither be established, nor can it endure, and that the punishment of pride is brought about by pride itself.
Self-esteem prompts us to depend upon our own ideas, our own resources, and our own wills. Now, what happens when this self-confidence is excessive? We are certain to make mistakes and to be deceived. But this is the least inconvenience. What is more serious is that the sense of our need of God is destroyed; and this is worse than a mere fault, it is a grave danger, for such an attitude implies the negation of grace.
Under the influence of this disposition the proud man does not dream of consulting God, nor of imploring His help, however great the need. Blinded by his own intelligence, he sees neither the fact nor, above all, the hatefulness of this strange neglect.
This error, born of defective sentiment, is responsible for many disasters.
This analysis may be summed up thus: God by His grace, is the principle of virtue. The proud think and act as though they themselves were this principle.
The excessive desire for esteem is equally opposed to virtue, though in a different way; it, too, however, attacks the rights of God.
God is not merely the principle of our virtuous actions. he should also be the end, and our own interests, even when legitimate, should be a secondary motive.
But what place has such a point of view in a soul where a craving for the esteem of others reign supreme?
If we set our heart on succeeding, it is because we desire the honor that attends success; and if we suffer so much when we fail, it is because it lowers us.
What efforts, what sacrifices, have been made in order to obtain a more brilliant position, an honorable distinction, or even simple praise; and in all the consequent tumult of personal hopes and fears- not one thought of God! Actions inspired by such motives, good and beneficent though they may be in themselves, have in them nothing supernatural, nor even virtuous in the true sense of the word. What shall we say of a life actuated almost entirely by such motives?
This second analysis may also be summed up in a few words: God should be the final end of all our actions; the proud man forgets and sets Him aside, preoccupied solely with himself. He also injures God who in another way, by preferring to His esteem the vain esteem of creatures.
To punish the proud man God has only to leave him to himself; the consequences clearly illustrate some of the ideas expressed in our earlier pages.
Fallen man, left to himself, tends towards evil; and if he is not supported by the help of God, sooner or later he falls into sin, speedily sinking lower and lower, in accordance with the law, perfectly applicable in the moral world, by which falling objects decline ever faster and faster. We will develop this truth later.
Pride such as this, calling down a like chastisement, is rare among Christians who keep in touch with God, and it is still more rare among pious people. We should fear, however, a lesser degree of pride, that still may call down just punishment: persistent dryness in devotion, sadness, and faults, into which, alas! God may allow us to fall.
This kind of punishment is the special visitation of immoderate self-esteem; the excessive desire of esteem more often finds its chastisement in the joy that is perpetually sought but never found. It begins with preoccupation and ends in disappointment.
This craving always exceeds the possibilities of attainment, and its avidity is ever on the increase.
God, on His side, finding Himself forgotten, turns away, and by the withdrawal of His grace inflicts the greatest punishment of all. Not for His own satisfaction does He sow with bitterness our human joys, making us miserable in our fruitless quests; but in the fond hope that one day hunger will drive the prodigal back to his father's house.
The nature of humility now stands revealed with perfect clearness: it is truth and order, for order and justice are equivalent terms.
The truth is that God and not ourselves is the principle good; and order means that God must be the end of all our actions.
If God is the principle of all good, my duty consists in living in entire dependence upon Him; if He is the bounden end of all my actions, my duty is to consecrate them all to His greater glory.
As principle, God is law and demands obedience; as end, He is to be our sovereign motive and He demands purity of intention.
What can He do with a being that defies the law and ignores his end?
We will continue to develop these ideas more fully, that we may understand them better.
Fourth Meditation
Exercise IV
Humility the Foundation of all Virtue
First Point: The foundation of the virtues.
Second Point: Purity of intention.
Third Point: Confidence in God.
Evening Preparation.- Tomorrow I shall consider this truth more closely, with the idea rather of self-instruction than of self-examination. To instruct ourselves is the first step towards the good that we are in pursuit of. I must face this truth fairly: that humility is the foundation of every other virtue. If this be true, in what sense are we to understand it? What is its range? and by what practical dispositions are we to exhibit it?
Up to now I have accepted the statement without question, but also without inquiry into its reasonableness.
My vague ideas on the subject and my consequent want of conviction may be in part responsible for my imperfect humility.
O my God give me Thy light and Thy holy fear. But above all grant me the will to make myself humble.
Meditation
PRELUDE.- Ask for grace to realize the close connection between humility and the other Christian virtues.
1. The foundation of virtue.- Virtue is the sum of good dispositions and acquired powers which, maintaining us in the practice of well-doing, constitutes our moral greatness. This is why it has been compared to an edifice.
Every edifice that is to endure must rest on solid foundations. Those of virtue, as we have seen above, are no other than God as the principle and end of our spiritual life. Now the virtue that recognizes Him as such and allows Him to play this part in our lives is humility; it is humility that acknowledges Him as the first principle of our virtuous actions and as the final end of our intentions.
Self-esteem, on the contrary, when undisciplined, prompts the proud man to rely too much on himself, and to attribute to himself the good that he does. On the other hand, an immoderate desire for esteem will lead him, in everything, to consider what will bring him the most respect and praise. In a final analysis, the foundation of moral actions is in the motive that inspires them; their motive is their soul. Now, we may reflect that, though our human actions, generally speaking, may have very varied motives, it is not so with our virtuous actions. These are prompted either by the desire to please God, or by the desire to attract to ourselves the esteem of men.
The love of pleasure, for instance, never produces even an appearance of virtue.
The proud man places all his confidence in himself, and even in virtue seeks his own excellence.
The conflict, O my God, is, then, between Thee and my pride. Is my virtue to rest upon Thee Who art my strength, or upon myself who am naught but weakness? Shall my life tend to Thy glory, or the satisfaction of my own vainglory? Art Thou to be my God, or is self to be my idol?
A great truth is brought out in these words: pride is the rival of God, pride is the Me substituting itself for Him. This state of things presents itself in two aspects, and may be summed up in these two phrases: I rely on myself, I act for myself.
I rely on myself, on my own savoir-faire, on my resolution, and on my strength. Foolish words, for without God I can do nothing.
I act for myself: wrong and unjust words, for God should be the final end of everything He has created.
The opposite of these hateful pretensions may also be summed up in two short sentences: I rely on God, I act for God. This is confidence in God, and purity of intention.
2. Confidence in God.- I rely on God. It is the property of humility to show us our dependence in everything. Without God we can do nothing; and in every supernatural action His grace is an absolute necessity to us.
We shall meditate later on these truths; let us be content for the moment to admit them and to draw from them this inevitable conclusion: that to rely on self is simply foolish. Now this folly is the outcome of pride.
Grace being indispensable to us, God, in His wisdom, requires that when we present ourselves to receive it, we should do so with dispositions suitable to our state, and He has, therefore, made humility the condition of His gifts.
Humility, regarded from its point of view, is self-distrust. Now this holy distrust instinctively turns with confidence to God saying, "I know myself, and that I can do nothing; but I also know God, and that with Him I can do all things. The more I feel my littleness, my weakness, and my inclination to evil, the more I find growing within me the need of confidence in God."
3. Purity of intention.- "I act for God"- this is the formula, and in this the short sentence are expressed order, wisdom, and goodness, for to act for God is to gravitate towards the Infinite Being by Whom everything exists; to play my part in the universal concert that glorifies Him; to take my rightful place in the beneficent plan that He has formed. Has not God rights, since He is the Supreme Being and eminently worthy of love? and should I not be indeed foolish if I did not make Him the end of all my actions?
Now pride draws me away from Him, even when it is only pride in practice.
Without making an absolute idol of self, we may yet in will and deed be concerned chiefly with self. Without formally excluding God we may ignore Him in our intentions, and in this way put ourselves outside His eternal scheme, lose our true orientation, and become as it were the vagrants of creation.
It is humility that ensures purity of intention. It destroys our self-obsession, and keeps us in our place. The truly humble soul willingly acknowledges the rights of God and respects them. She makes them her rule of life, and she encroaches upon them she is sorry, and tries to make amends. This purity of intention is a necessity to her, and the light of it shines in all her actions.
Happy is the soul that is entirely humble, and who has abandoned herself to the designs of the Almighty Father. She wills all that He wills, and loves all that He loves. She endures exterior trials and interior desolation with the same equability, for no other frame of mind would be possible to her.
How far removed is the proud soul from such a disposition, and how much she is to be pitied! for it is written: "Every plant that my Father has not planted shall be rooted up."
Purity of intention and confidence in God are both of them the daughters of humility. Purity of intention directs, confidence animates, and together they pave the way that leads to perfection. God, Who in this world is the object of their pursuit, will in Heaven be their everlasting possession.
Resolution.- Not to allow the esteem of men to become a necessity to me, but to elevate myself to a desire for God's; this should be sufficient for me, and by it I must be governed.
Fifth Meditation
Exercise V
The Growth of Virtue Hindered by Unconscious Pride
First Point: The fact and its causes.
Second Point: Indicative Signs
Evening Preparation.- In tomorrow's meditation I shall give myself up to a retrospective examination; I shall go over again the period of my training; I shall examine the motives that have inclined me to well-doing; I shall seek to discover what have been the exterior influences that have kept me in the right path; I will put on one side all that was pure, disinterested, and actuated by the love of God, and on the other all that was more or less consciously tainted with self-complacence and the desire of esteem.
O my God, enable me to get far enough away from myself that I may see clearly. Recall to my memory all these little details which go to make up the past. I beseech Thee, if my spiritual life has been infected with excess of pride, make me to know, to feel, and to abhor it.
Meditation
Prelude.- To pray that God will throw upon my past life His searching light, to enable me to discover whether my humility is solid and sincere.
1. The fact considered in this meditation and its causes.- There are virtues which are formed under the more or less actual influence of unconscious pride. There is even a great deal of such virtue. Mine may be of the same kind. Is it possible that pride may have had a share in establishing me in pious habits, and I have been unaware of it? We often speak of hidden pride, pride in disguise- but i did not suppose that I could ever fall a victim to it. Yet my slackness and my faults must be in great measure due to the fact that my virtues are built upon the unstable foundations of pride.
O my soul, be attentive and pray!
Have we ever noted the consequences of these two psychological facts: the essential imitativeness of man, and his sensitiveness and adaptability to environment? Let us apply the test to the period of our own development.
By what persons we were surrounded? what were the prevailing ideas among them? etc. It is enough to say that the influences of our lives were good and tended to piety. Nothing was more highly honored than virtue; heroical goodness was admired; those who showed ant approach to sanctity were held in veneration; books and conversation all concurred to strengthen good impressions. We valued such things and envied those who were better than ourselves.
Were such sentiments absolutely pure and unalloyed that in truth incited us to well-doing? Or did the desire to have a share in the general esteem play some part in our enthusiasm for goodness? Did our contentment in the service of God borrow nothing from our self-contentment, and from our consciousness of the place we occupied in the minds of others? Ah! who shall disclose these secrets that are known to God alone?
We may easily conceive the possibility that our humility itself may have been at least partially inspired by pride!
In such a milieu as that of which we have spoken, humility is deemed to preeminent virtue. It is well-nigh impossible not to make an exterior show of it, to adopt its expressions, and even to feel something of the sentiment. To believe ourselves humble, and sufficiently humble, is a need. Doubtless this humility may be sincere, for such influences foster its growth in a wonderful way; but it may also be a very superficial humility. A naturally proud soul will be thrown off the scent, and in her pursuit for humility may easily mistake the shadow for the substance.
Once more, who shall fathom these mysteries that are known only to God?
2.Indications.- The Divine Master said: "The tree is known by its fruit." Let us apply this test to our lives.
As we grew up and our environment changed, what became of our beautiful enthusiasms? Was not our zeal for perfection, and especially for humility, soon extinguished?- and that without our putting up any any great show of resistance, or feeling any sense of shock.
Yet those new surroundings still encouraged the growth of virtue, though perhaps not in so pronounced a fashion. Different ideas held sway, and faithful to our pliant nature and for the satisfaction of our self-love we adapted ourselves to them.
Our attitude when faced with contradictions, failure, injustice, and scorn, is also another noteworthy sign. If we are troubled, sad and preoccupied. we betray our imperfect virtue, resting more or less on a basis of pride.
When there is a real discouragement, anger, animosity, jealousy, rebellion: then we may be sure that pride is deep-rooted and dominant within us.
Our humility was then only on the surface, its sentiments only those we had learnt! If it had been real and thorough it would have imparted to us calm and resignation, perhaps even that lofty peace and joy that the great souls of the Apostles experienced even when they were under the scourge.
I thank Thee, O my God, for this clear light that penetrates the depths of my life. I confess that it wounds me with brightness; I suffer, while I question whether I do not stand in need of being wholly remade. I behold my virtue as the result merely of my surroundings, and I ask myself what should I have been had my environment, my position, my occupations, and my associates, been entirely different? At the mere thought of such moral isolation I long to hide myself on Thy breast, O Thou Who art my only refuge! O God, create in me a new and humble soul! Multi humilitatis umbram pauci veritatem sequntur: "Many pursue the shadow of humility, few the reality," said S. Jerome.
Resolution.- To ask myself if I should behave in the same manner, with the same affability, the same zeal, if there were none but God to notice and to be pleased with me.
Sixth Meditation
Exercise VI
Humility the Guardian of Virtues
First Point: Humility the salt that preserves.
Second Point: Humility the light that disperses illusion.
Evening Preparation.- If our virtue is built even in part upon an unconscious pride, the edifice is founded on the sand, there is a constant danger of destruction. If it is established on God, we may be reassured as to the past, but we must not be without fear for the future, for pride is able to destroy even the most solidly built edifice.
"He who without humility gathers to himself virtues," says S. Jerome, "is like the man who faces the wind with a load of fine dust"- Qui sine humilitate virtutes congregat, quasi in ventum pulverem portat. "Oh! what violent winds blow around us, and in what danger are our fleeting resolutions!"
S. Anthony, frightened by a vision that showed him the temptations of the world cried: "Lord! how shall we be preserved from them?" " By humility," was the response.
Humility, the basis of the virtues, is also, and for the same reason, their guardian; she makes God the principle and the end of our actions. Pride unjustly attributes them to self, and destroys the edifice. The whole of tradition teaches us this truth, and we, in our turn, repeat it; but though it may be an accepted maxim, are we really convinced of its truth? We have cause to fear if we discover that. though we may not be positively proud, neither are we humble.
The humble soul is conscious at all times of the need of God, of His indulgence as well as of His help.
Such a one feels that in view of his misery and weakness, he walks like a wounded man to whom all movement is painful. By such humility virtue is well guarded. O my God may it become mine!
Meditation
Prelude.- Ask for grace to throw myself into humility as into a citadel that will protect me.
1. Humility the salt that preserves.- The greater the virtue, the greater the danger of pride, for all well-doing is matter for vain self-complacence and the applause of men.
Vain self-complacence commences the work of disintegration. It insinuates itself so quietly, and its promptings are such pleasant hearing; it is so accommodating, and knows so well to disguise itself.
Like a poison mixed with wholesome substances, it mingles itself with our satisfaction in working for the glory of God and the salvation of souls; it is found in sensible devotion, and follows us in the most sublime elevations of the soul.
Unconsciously to ourselves, it grows and ravages our souls and its action is so slow that it does not arouse our vigilance. Thus the poison infects even our highest virtues.
Vain self-complacence begins the work of destruction, and the love of praise completes it. This murmur of approbation from without echoes so agreeably within! Of course, we assure ourselves that we shall not be misled by it; we regret that it should be offered to us; we give to God all the glory- and yet our pleasure in it is deep and real.
Under this double influence the evil grows; it is not one transient action that is vitiated by it, but a whole series of actions; soon, perhaps, it may affect the whole life.
Virtue is corrupted, and, though for some time it will be upheld by sheer force of habit and the demands of pride itself, it will not be able to sustain this fictitious life for long.
Some strong temptation, or unexpected circumstance, a mere nothing, and it will crumble into dust.
How may we prevent such a misfortune? By being humble. "She will be with virtue, or virtue will not be," said S. Augustine of humility: Virtus non est nisi conjunctam habeat humilitatem. Humility must be sprinkled upon our virtues as salt is sprinkled upon a substance that we wish to preserve; it will not prevent all destructive fermentation, it will detach us from a too personal point of view, and it will enable us to find our satisfaction in God alone.
But in order to be effective this virtue must be real; it must operate with the ease, spontaneity, and willingness of a habit. Otherwise we shall often be taken by surprise. Humility must become as natural to us as pride was.
Let us, then, address our prayers to the Master and to the Queen of the humble.
2. Humility the light that disperses illusion.- It is a common saying, and profoundly true, that pride is blind; and the masters of the spiritual life have so well understood the nature of humility that they have always looked upon this virtue as the most reliable test in the discernment of spirits. Is the virtue of such and such a person real or assumed? Does this extraordinary contemplation come from God? Is that vision real or imaginary? The answer will depend chiefly upon the humility of the favored individual.
This test should be applied equally to the most ordinary virtue.
We must fear the delusions of pride that we see in others, and fear also our own self-contentment, if we do not also feel that we are very small - for very small we are, and very weak and miserable.
God does not judge as men judge. Those who, perhaps, look upon us as saints do not know our ingratitude and the faults which still dog our footsteps. To put and to keep us in our right place, our humility needs to be real and sincere, penetrating our minds and exhibiting to us our nothingness, our helplessness, and our faults. In a word, our humility must be true.
It is indeed very easy to wander off the track, to go astray, and to fall into tepidity; we choose our duties and plan our lives to suit ourselves and our own tastes; what we like seems good to us; we expose ourselves to dangers we are not called upon to face; we excuse our faults and continue to commit them; we do not feel the need of prayer; we live for self without regretting it; and thus tepidity gains upon us and demoralizes us.
If humility had been really active, all these failings would have been detected and arrested, for humility gives an extinct for what is good and true.
If we only had a deep sense of self-mistrust, we should clearly perceive the need for resolute self-conquest, if we are not to offer resistance to grace.
3. Nothing warps the conscience so much as the influence of indulged pride; nothing keeps it so clear and decided as the sentiment of humility.
The humble soul, distrustful of self, will follow the safe way, asking advice willingly, avoiding danger, praying unceasingly, and availing herself of every aid. She may attain to great virtue, yet she will scarcely be aware of it. She may be confirmed in well-doing, yet she will feel in herself how weak she is. Oh! what a perfect guardian of virtue is humility!
Without it, how many and and what serious falls we may experience! The roots of the tree decay, the foundations of the edifice crumble away. The tempest of passion arises, or the violent strain of difficult circumstances; the tree is uprooted from the soil of the Church, and the beautiful structure falls into ruin. And the tree is not replanted, nor the ruins rebuilt; while close at hand, sinners who have been wallowing in the mire find, in spite of their faults, and even through their faults, a saving humility. Praesumentes de se et de bona sua virtute gloriantes, humilias - "He who glories in his strength and prides himself on his virtue shall be humiliated by Thee, O Lord."
Resolution: To live constantly in fear of myself, and to carry this fear about with me like a sensitive wound.
Seventh Meditation
Exercise VII
The Punishment of Pride
First Point: Personal ineffectiveness.
Second Point: The abandonment and aversion of God.
Third Point: Forfeiture and degradation.
Evening Preparation.- Pride tends to deprive God of His glory, and of His rightful place. It puts in His place, unintentionally, perhaps, but practically, what is already sufficiently detestable. How is it that God suffers it? What would be the feelings of a human master towards a servant who did what he liked and insisted that he was within his rights? How would he treat him? He would not only punish him, but he would punish him in such a way as to bring home to him the meanness and despicableness of his pretensions.
All law aims at maintaining order; and humility is the law of our present condition.
Its violation produces disorder within us, around us, and in our intercourse with God; and from thence proceed error, danger, failure, perhaps the ruin of virtue, and even final impenitence.
Punishment seldom falls swiftly on the culprit, it comes slowly but surely. Years may pass during which we may have no forebodings, and he may become so confirmed in his mistaken path as to pursue it almost unconsciously.
It will place before myself tomorrow this real cause from fear. May it incite me to make strong resolutions. It must be remembered that it is not enough that we do not seem to be proud, we must feel humble- that is, worthless and helpless in ourselves.
Meditation
Prelude.- To ask God to convince me that the question of humility and pride is a question of life or death.
1. Personal Ineffectiveness.- Pride possesses the fatal property of rendering ineffective in us everything that it touches. The most beautiful action, inspired by pride, is worthless in the sight of God. It is like an unfruitful flower, and everything good that is tainted by the breath of pride withers in the same way. Thus the most active life that is inspired by pride is like a vessel of the Danaids that nothing could replenish because it was full of holes.
Our Lord, speaking of the Pharisees who fasted and prayed in order to attract attention cried, " Verily, I say unto you, they have their reward."
Why, indeed, should God reward what is not done for Him? He will not, and besides, He cannot, for every action that is not prompted by a supernatural intention, at least virtually, is deprived of his cooperation. There is no life in it, and grace being absent, no glory can shine upon it. not being inspired by the Holy Ghost, it cannot receive the blessing of Heaven.
We may imagine the chagrin of the proud man when, after death, he finds himself with his hands empty, and hears the sentence: "I know you not." He is amazed. Has he not prophesied? Has he not suffered a thousand hardships? Has he not given himself up to pious exercises, even to the very hour of his death?
Yes, he has done all this, and in certain works he has been very successful. But what has been the principal motive of all his activity? Applause, respect. He has, alas! obtained them, and that is all. His reward is worthy of his vanity: Receperunt mercedem vani vanum - " Their virtue was vain, and vain was their reward" (S.Augustine).
Happy is he if heaven is still open to him. He owes it to the only Mercy, and that Mercy has perhaps been touched by some little good deed, or pious practice , that he has made small amount of; perhaps by some prayer of another and very humble soul.
But what treasures of grace has he lost for ever!
2. The abandonment and aversion of God.- In order to chastise the proud man, God has no need to arm Himself with a sword; it is sufficient to leave him to himself. Nothing could be more just, since he is presumptuous; nothing could be more fatal, for he is weak.
Blinded by his illusions, swayed by his impulses, he rushes into the abyss. His sense of danger is dormant, his eyes are blinded, and he does not feel the need of asking for light and help.
Now, between the all-powerful God and man who is essentially weak, there is a tacit contract. " Be humble and pray; keep in thy place," says God, " and I will be in Mine, and will sustain thee."
The bond of this covenant broken, we may be left to ourselves; and this is not a mere possibility.
But if the abandonment of God is terrible, how much more so is His aversion! It is almost hatred; Tres species odivi...pauperem superbum- " Three things provoke my hatred... the poor man who is proud." Abominatio Domini omnis arrogans- " The Lord holds the arrogant man in abomination."
This hatred pursues the proud man, and nothing can shield him from its avenging fury. Superbia cordis tui exaltavit te
: et si exaltatus fueris ut aquila, et si inter sidera posueris nidum tuum, inde detraham te, dicit Dominus. " The pride of thy heart lifted thee up; but though thou be exalted as an eagle, and though thou set thy nest among the stars: thence will I bring thee down, saith the Lord."
Let us meditate upon these terrible words, the unexpected revelation of the hatred felt towards this vice by a Heart distinguished for its mercy!
High position, even in the Church; eminent services rendered, even to religion; admirable virtues, no doubt admired too much; all these things may become matter for pride without being a defense of it in the eyes of God. " Thence will I bring thee down"- inde detraham te; and He has already thus treated great potentates- Deposuit potentes de sede.
3. Forfeiture and degradation.- Let us see how the aversion of God is displayed, and to what His abandonment leads.
S.Paul, speaking of the philosophers sunk in their pride, says: Tradidi et illos in desideria cordis eorum in immunditum- " Wherefore God gave them up to the desires of their hearts, unto uncleanness, to dishonor their own bodies among themselves." See them fallen, degraded, and reckoned among the brutes- Animalis homo.
Warned by this spectacle, let us bear in mind that pride is the cause of such degradation, and has the power to produce it. Initium omnis peccati superbia. It is the source of all the vices, as we know by revelation as well as by experience, but we scarcely care to translate the words in which its terrible effects are described in the Scriptures: Sicut eructant praecordia foetantiam ... sic et cor superborum.
After this, can we be surprised to hear that pride is one of the most manifest signs of reprobation?
The proud man, once plunged into evil-doing, finds it in his tomb. If he is to be saved, he must recognize his guilt; he must ask for grace, he must humble himself; and of all this he is incapable.
Reflection.- Among the punishments we have just considered, there is not one that we may not be liable to bring upon ourselves sooner or later. Truly we have to fear the insidious growth of pride, and the anger of God when this vice deprives Him of the glory that is His due. We should tremble in considering the different natures of good and evil. There must be nothing lacking to our goodness- any hiatus gives an opening to evil. An action that may be ever so good, if it is prompted by self-love is vitiated even at its birth. Again, though rightly begun, it may be suddenly changed and spoilt by the creeping in of a motive of pride.
Lastly, perfectly accomplished, it may leave in us a destructive germ of self-complacence.
From this dreary picture let us turn our eyes to a more consoling one, that which depicts the reign of humility.
Instead of rendering our greatest actions futile, it gives merit even to the smallest.
Instead of debasing us, it elevates. De stercore ergens pauperem. Et exaltavit humiles.
Lastly, instead of the presages of damnation, there are assurances of salvation. Humiles salvabit Dominus. And it cannot be otherwise. The humble man prays, and God listens. Respicit in orationem humilium. He can do all in Him Who strengthens him; he lives, yet not he, but God lives in him. Whenever he can, he retires into the shadow and silence, and in the shadow God reveals Himself, and in the silence He speaks to him. He is forgetful of the good that he does, he is gentle to everyone, and filial towards God. Who will not feel the need of the desire to become humble?
Resolution.- I will make myself humble, cost what it will.
